WISDOM FROM STARBUCKS

 Life Lessons from Teens to Seniors

I love connections and people’s stories.   I’m also a Starbucks addict.  If you’ve read this blog before, you know I’m not shy.  So, I had no problem walking up to complete strangers at various Starbucks and asking them to share some wisdom with the rest of us.  I was blown away!  Some of the most brilliant thoughts came from teens and young adults! 

The priceless question:  What has life taught you so far?

The answers:  Definitely worth your time – a lot of wisdom came from people waiting for a mocha or cappuccino!

Kelly, 28, “Spend time with the people you love because you don’t know what tomorrow will bring.”

Molly, 13, ON FRIENDSHIP: “When you have two friends who are fighting – stay out of it because they will put you in the middle and then you’re the one who will end up in the most trouble.  It’s okay to know that your best friend today may not be your best friend in the future.  Friends can change.  I lost my best friend because of a stupid mistake, but true friends are forgiving.  True friends also don’t focus on clothes and all the outer stuff.  Years from now, it won’t matter.  WHO YOU ARE INSIDE IS WHAT MAKES YOU A STAR!”

Also, don’t overreact because it’s pointless – a waste of energy – and in the end, it’s not nearly as important as you most likely thought it was.  Instead of wishing for life to be different, deal with the way things are. (Wishing doesn’t do anything – change only happens if you make it happen.)

Amanda, 25, “NOTHING LESS.  I read this phrase in my assignment notebook in sixth or seventh grade.  It struck me then, and it has stayed with me.  What it conveyed was a message that I should settle for nothing less than fulfilling my personal goals and dreams.  It motivated me.  As I got older, I continued to follow this idea.  The only thing that has changed is that I realized that sometimes you can alter your dreams as you go along the way.”

Isaac, 13, “Respect your friends.  Don’t yell at them or keep things bottled up.  It will only come out at another time or land on someone else that you care about.”

Jodi, 34, “Trust in who you are, and trust your heart.  Sometimes your head can get in the way, especially when you start wondering what other people are thinking.  Let that go and when you do, you’ll find that things fall into place.

Taylor, 14, “Boys can be stupid.  When they act like they’re interested in you, they’re not, and when they act like they aren’t interested in you, they are.  Why don’t they just say exactly what they mean!

Maureen, 62, “It’s important to find something to laugh about every day.  Surround yourself with people whom you enjoy and feel good to be around.  True friendship involves relationships that understand that things happen – we all go through a lot in life – so appreciate how precious life is and cherish each moment.”

Jamie, 45, “Never underestimate what (you can do) or what your children can do.  Your children are capable of so much more than you think; so don’t limit them with your perceptions.” 

Marnie, 30, “When you put anything on the computer, even when you think it’s private, it’s not.  Facebook, e-mail, Twitter etc. is not private.  If you don’t want the world to know about it, keep it off the computer – PERIOD!”

Hannah, 13, “Don’t put off your homework!  I had an assignment and had two weeks to do it.  I kept thinking that I had time to get it done and when I finally got around to doing it then night before, it was way too late.  I could have done a lot better.”

Jennifer, 46, “Don’t make drama where there is none, because doing so is unnecessary.  There’s enough real drama in your life to deal with without creating more.  Also, don’t play the “what if…” game if you’re going to focus on the negatives.  It doesn’t help you one bit in life!”

Judy, 63, “A person’s worst qualities can also be his/her best qualities.  For example, if someone is stubborn, this quality may mean she will keep at something until she gets it perfect – she will be driven to succeed.  On the other hand, being stubborn might lead to being inflexible.  A person needs to learn how to use these qualities for the best, and in the most positive way.”

How about sharing some of your own wisdom?  You don’t have to be at Starbucks to do so – just click on comments.  Thanks, Liza

TEENS/YA BINGE DRINKING, HOOK UPS, AND SELF-ESTEEM

Okay, I’ve been thinking about this for quite awhile and decided I just had to blog about it!

Who or What is Driving You?

Lately I’ve been hearing more than the usual from teens and YA about the binge drinking that has been taking place on campuses and at high school parties.

Here’s what several eighteen-year-olds have told me.

Some of you love to drink.  You love the feeling of getting buzzed; you love having the pressures taken off of you by drinking, and though you end up spending the night throwing up in a toilet, it is still worth it.  It’s worth it, even if you sleep it off the next day, all day.  You’ve told me it is a right of passage and a personal entertainment choice, something to do with friends.  I can’t say this makes me happy.  I wish you would find other, more healthy ways to entertain yourself.  On a side note – I just learned in my CPR class (January 26, 2010) that those who are vomiting after binge drinking should be watched carefully.  There is a higher chance of choking on vomit under these circumstances, and if you are alone, you may not get the care you need!

From several teens and young adults (ages ranging from fifteen to twenty) you shared the following situations with me:

You drink so much that you don’t remember what happened to you.  Your friends (who can still stand) take care of you, bring you to the bathroom, clean you up, and make sure you get food in you.  Some of you are hooking up, and you don’t even remember them.  You drink so that you can hook-up, because without the alcohol you would never do it.  Unfortunately, the morning after leaves you feeling empty and lost.

I’ve been privileged to talk with you about it and it’s clear your self-esteem is so low, that it breaks my heart.

It breaks my heart because I think you’re amazing.  I think you’re beautiful – inside and out.  I think that you are incredibly bright, gifted, and have so much to offer this world, but are making bad choices – especially when it comes to drinking.

A few of you have been raped.  A few of you lost your virginity in ways that you have said were totally degrading.  (In the bathroom at school – not cool.  Or, at a party with others watching.)

The lipstick rings placed on the guy’s penis while others watched and cheered?  You barfed in the toilet shortly afterward…  That brought tears to my eyes…  You felt totally degraded, but pressured into doing it.

You got so drunk that you couldn’t move out of the snow bank.  Thankfully, a friend found you before you froze to death.

A few of you have gotten into a car with a drunk driver – and you lived.  I am so glad that you are alive, because you have so much living to do.  If you hadn’t been drunk yourself, you never would have done something so stupid.

I wish I were making this stuff up.   I wish that I could magically make it all disappear, but I can’t.

Here’s what I can tell you.  It’s time to put this behind you.  It’s time to stop, and it’s time for you to know that you have control of the choices you make, and you don’t have to repeat them.

You tell me that you have a reputation now – one you can’t live down – so you just continue with the same behavior, because that is what is expected of you.  But I have to tell you that I know you’re better than that, much, much, much better.  I’m not saying that it is going to be easy.  It’s lousy and unfair.  But it also is life.

The only way to change is if you make a choice to take action by not participating, by saying no.  Respect yourself because you deserve it!

If you need someone to listen or if you have questions, please e-mail me.  I will, G-d willing, be here to cheer you on!  Because no matter what, I believe that you are truly amazing.  whoRuBlog@aol.com

A note from Liza:

Right before I was about to post this blog piece I saw the following article from my aol home page:

TEEN BINGE DRINKING MAY CAUSE BRAIN DAMAGE – Sphere News

http://tinyurl.com/ygv39cp

To learn more about self-esteem issues, please click on the following link: http://www.whorublog.com/?page_id=79 or if you would like to learn more about the five barriers that can influence your life, please click on the following link:  http://www.whorublog.com/?p=12

Lookin Like a Fool with Your Pants on the Ground

Youtube Video of American Idol\’s General Larry Pratt – Pants on the Ground

General Larry Platt, 62, hit American Idol by storm last night and made viewers smile with his original song, Pants on the Ground. There’s no doubt he has an opinion about what some teens and young adults wear, and he sure doesn’t like it!  But what made his “message” effective was that this wasn’t some shlup doling out fashion advice – The General has the moves.  Did you see him breakdancing?  Amazing!

So, here’s the question.  If your pants are on the ground, are you really looking like a fool?  Like many trends, those who dress with their pants on the ground will most likely say in ten years, “What the heck was I thinking!”  Does is it matter?  Shouldn’t what you wear be a personal choice?  Or should there be guidelines for what teens can and cannot wear?

Nicolet High School in Glendale, WI instituted a dress code for the 2009-2010 school year, which forbids students from wearing their pants on the ground (sagging pants).  The administration and school board said that students who wore these pants are constantly hoisting them up.  (One student told me that kids who wear these pants sometimes grab the fabric by their crotch to pull up them up, and some see it as a sexual message.)  The school also placed a ban on midriff tops, showing cleavage, pjs, and halter-tops, to name just a few.  Many saw these types of clothes as giving off a clear S-E-X-U-A-L message.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebhlRhRi290 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXA-qu4zYK8

The bottom line is respect. Our bodies are beautiful.  We should respect them and appreciate them, not as objects, but as vehicles to make this world a better place.  Huh?  What was that?

Let me explain.  If you see yourself strictly as a body, then what you do has little meaning.  If, however, you see yourself as an individual who has a soul, who has a mind, who has a heart, then the body is no longer an object to be used, but a vehicle to accomplish dreams, use talents, and make a difference to improve this world.  The heart, mind, and soul need a body to accomplish dreams.  The body puts everything into action.  When you look at yourself as more than a body, then you can understand how what you wear can truly say a lot about who and what you are.  Everyone needs to decide for him or herself what that message is.  Make sure it’s one you feel really good about and reflects your true beauty – the inner-self that should shine forward at all times.

I’d love to know what you think about this too!

TRASH NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS!

Yes, I give you permission.  Trash the New Year’s resolutions!  “What?” you say.  “Isn’t that a part of the American tradition?  New year, new lease (or should I say leash) on life?”

It’s not that I’m against resolutions – actually, I’m for them.  I’m just against the emphasis on New Year’s Day resolutions.  Who the heck decided that out of 365 days a year this is THE DAY for resolutions?

Now this is a New Year's resolution worth keeping. Read twenty-five books in 2010!

Recently I heard a very wise man say that the most important day of the year is TODAY! I believe that, and act on it.  If you believe it too, then a resolution is appropriate any day of the year.  It also means that EVERY DAY is an opportunity for new beginnings.  I love that!  I also love that resolutions don’t have to be difficult to have a huge impact.  A simple resolution to call a loved one you haven’t spoken to for awhile can involve little effort and reap huge reward.  Sometimes, what we think is the small stuff, is actually the most important stuff of all!

♥♥♥

Will you keep your resolution if you make one?

Here’s what I think.  In order for a resolution to succeed a person needs the following:

1. A desire to change an aspect in your life.
2. A clear goal or goals that are specific to what you want to change.
3. Self-motivation.
4. A loose game plan – 2 or 3 action steps you can take immediately to work toward fulfilling your goal(s).
5. A great pair of pliers to pull the hook out of your neck for when you lose sight of your goal and need help getting back on track.  Let me explain.  WE’RE HUMAN!  If this comes as news to you, seek help immediately.  Even the best, most successful people get off track – but what makes them successful is their ability to let themselves off the hook for getting side tracked and put themselves back in the game.
6. Review – ask yourself how you’re doing and periodically readjust your actions to make sure you are working toward the end result.
7. Once you reach your goal, how are you going to maintain it?  Change it?  Find a new goal?

Things to remember:

1. You don’t have to have all the answers to pursue a goal.  As you move toward it, see doors opening for you!
2. Be clear, be specific – notice I didn’t say realistic – that sets limitations.
3. Seek the best mentors and ask questions.
4. Be kind, be thankful, and show it.  Only you can take action to reach your goal(s), but that doesn’t mean you may not need help on the journey.
5. Stay away from negative self-talk, influences.  It’s ghhhrrrr!  YOU CAN DO IT!  I KNOW YOU CAN SUCCEED!
6. Smile.

ENVY vs. ADMIRATION 

Never saw the movie, but the title works!

Envy.  Yes, I envy YOU!  You’ve got it and I WANT IT!  And not only do I want what you have, I want it NOW and if you go down, well it just serves you RIGHT!  After all, what did you really do in the first place to deserve it?  Look at me!  I work hard, I’m smart, I’m soooo much better than YOU!  Gah. 

Okay, now that I have your attention, I hope you’re lol because it’s always a good thing to laugh with someone who tries (yes tries– because I’m not always successful) to be humorous.  The truth is somewhere floating in the words.

Let’s talk Tiger Woods – yeah I know HE’S EVERYWHERE!  The fallen hero, right?  He had everything – incredible talent as a pro-golfer (still has it), gorgeous wife (who knows?), huge house (might sell it?), cute kids (yup!), MONEY, MONEY, MONEY.  Oh yeah, and more money (a little less if his wife divorces him and the pre-nup is settled).What is our obsession with Tiger Woods and ____? (The name of anyone else who’s been in the news lately for “personal” failings.  Fill in the blank… you can do it!)  He’s not the first guy to cheat and sadly he won’t be the last.  Was it hero worship gone bad?  Maybe – you know…fallen hero…we just all love to see someone who seems to be PERFECT go D..O….W…..N.

This, my friends, is one of our greatest flaws in our society and in our personal thinking today.  Tiger was never a hero for playing golf, or being a husband, or being a father.  What he had and still has is TALENT that many envy and companies were and still are willing to pay him a GAZILLION dollars to endorse their products because he could and can hit a tiny ball into a tiny hole.  I admit, this takes tremendous skill and I am certainly not one of those people who can do it successfully.  Okay, sooooo outdoor sports for me means walking from the house to my car… maybe an exaggeration – I do like a fine walk to the lake.

Sorry, where was I?  Tiger… got off track because, of course, this has to be about ME, right?  Me, me, me…

Here’s what I’m really thinking.  Envy does NOTHING to help our society, it certainly does nothing to help our CHARACTER, it brings misery into everything that we do and what we receive because it is NEVER enough.  When we envy others there is pleasure in seeing someone who is successful finally fail, there is whining and complaining, and never or rarely taking RESPONSIBILITY.  And you know what – I’ll dare say it… when you get wrapped up in envy, you end up a LOSER!

ADMIRATION.  When you admire someone, you deeply appreciate his or her talents, skills, personality, character, beauty – inner and outer – without any envy.  Admiration is healthy. It means that you will strive, drive, and thrive in an environment where you take that admiration and utilize it to be the best you that you can be.  Anyone who knows me will say hands down (or up) that I AM A HORRIBLE SINGER.  I’m so bad that some of my pre-schoolers covered their ears when I’ve sung songs in class.  (This had all of my BFF ROFL – and one practically had to sprint to the bathroom, she was laughing so hard…) So, do you hear ROCK star in the making??  I could envy all those who have better singing voices than me (so what if that’s practically the entire WORLD!)  Well, HELLOOO, I’d become a MISERABLE human, still with a LOUSY singing voice. Instead, I deeply admire those who can really sing.  Note to Loreena McKennitt – you sing like an ANGEL.  And Chris Daughtry – I ONLY LISTENED TO YOU A GAZILLION TIMES writing my first YA novel.  (Yes, this was much to the distress of my elder son who had to put up with the thousand repeats – AND LISTEN to my attempt at singing with you.  Do I know how to torture, or what?  Maybe my singing off tune could be an effective tool at bringing a criminal to confess?  Hmm… perhaps I should offer my services…)

Okay, seriously now.  Don’t envy others for what they have or because you don’t have it.  Instead, admire them.  Learn from them, emulate their best qualities, but BE YOU.  Take your talents and strive, drive, and thrive.  Push yourself to be your very best.  And when you think you’ve reached it, push yourself even harder.  Don’t do it for anyone else, but you.  Don’t step on anyone else to get where you want to go.  Be loving and kind.  Be a humble winner and a gracious loser.  LEARN, GROW, AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE.  Find fabulous MENTORS – people whom you can truly admire.  Individuals who will want to help you succeed, not for their benefit, but for the pure joy in guiding you to become the best you that you can be.  

Ben Azzai said:

“Do not despise anyone.

Do not regard anything as impossible.

There is no one without his hour.

There is no thing without its place.” 

Hugs!

SELF-MOTIVATION:

A POSITIVE ATTITUDE CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE

BY GUEST BLOGGER, RAVEN MAGWOOD

Teen Author, Motivational Speaker, Entrepreneur, and overall AWESOME TEEN

http://www.ravenmagwood.com/

As teens, we must learn to be positive with ourselves. If we aren’t, who will be? I would like for you to try something that I learned while at a youth program in California. Say the following aloud to yourself: “I am a ten. I walk like a ten. I talk like a ten. I get what I want when I want it, because I always do what I ought to do when I ought to do it. I’m healthy. I’m wealthy. I’m smart. I’m strong. I AM A TEN!” This may seem silly now, but when you repeat things to yourself over and over again, you will start to believe it. How do you think we get so many pathological liars (LOL). They lie to themselves over and over again until they actually start to believe what they are saying is true. So if we, as people, can flip this around and use this technique for something positive, we will start to become the things we speak. When you wake up in the morning, you have a choice – a choice to have a good day, a choice to have a bad day. A choice to say, on a scale of one to ten, you are a ten. Or maybe you’re just a four or a five. So I want you to say the following to yourself, but like you really mean it: “I am a ten. I walk like a ten. I talk like a ten. I get what I want when I want it, because I always do what I ought to do when I ought to do it. I’m healthy. I’m wealthy. I’m smart. I’m strong. I AM A TEN!” This shouldn’t stop here. Say this to yourself when you wake up in the morning, and start to make positive choices for yourself.

A note from Liza Wiemer: I “met” Raven Magwood when she started following me on Twitter.  I was impressed by her energy, positive attitude, enthusiasm, ambition, spirit, deep faith, and desire to help others.  She is truly a role model for teens and young adults.  But I think we can all learn an important lesson from her – take ACTION with whatever talents we may possess and utilize them to make a difference in this world.  We also can learn that if we don’t take a blind eye to those around us, then we can truly make a difference with simple ACTIONS – a smile to a stranger, a phone call to a friend in need, holding the door open for someone who needs help, or helping someone by shoveling snow when he or she may be unable to do so.  There are so many things that we can do that take little effort, but are incredibly rewarding.  Raven Magwood epitomizes an individual who takes ACTION.  She utilizes her positive attitude to change the world.  She doesn’t just say, “I can,” but “I can do it.”  Then she does!  The difference is ACTION!

When Raven utilizes the positive affirmation, “I am a ten. I walk like a ten. I talk like a ten. I get what I want when I want it, because I always do what I ought to do when I ought to do it. I’m healthy. I’m wealthy. I’m smart. I’m strong. I AM A TEN!” she is speaking about something so much greater than material gain.  She is speaking about what is truly valuable in life:  respect and self-respect, an appreciation for those around her, a wealth in knowing that she is achieving goals by doing her very best, and that our mind, body, and soul are healthy when we take ACTION with the talents we possess.  STRIVE, DRIVE, THRIVE!

Raven’s opening statement reminds me of a very important lesson that I learned and have passed on to my students.  It is a quote from Hillel:

IF I AM NOT FOR MYSELF, WHO WILL BE FOR ME?

BUT IF I AM ONLY FOR MYSELF, WHAT AM I?

AND IF NOT NOW, WHEN?

We would love to hear from you.  If you have any questions about Raven’s post or a question for Raven, please send it by clicking the ‘add comments’ button.  No questions, but a comment?  We’d love to hear from you too!

   

Don't Park Here!

STAY SAFE ON THE ROAD

 

Texting, putting on make-up, making phone calls on your cell, drinking and driving, using drugs and driving, reaching for a snack…  These are just a few things that lead to dangerous, inattentive driving, which could lead to serious accidents on the road – even death.  BE SAFE!  Even if you can’t participate in this contest, make a personal pledge to drive carefully.  If you need to make a call, pull over.  Don’t get into anyone’s vehicle if s/he is drunk.  Eat before you get on the road – avoid eating in your car.  And please, ALWAYS WEAR YOUR SEATBELT!

Right after graduation last year, a young man we knew who had attended our son’s high school got into a car with a drunk driver.  The driver lost control and wrapped the car around a tree.  The boy we were acquainted with died.  Though we did not know this boy well, my heart broke for his family.  Such a waste of precious life.  YOU ARE PRECIOUS!  Please make good choices.  There are people who care – even if you don’t think so.  Trust me, I don’t know you, but I care.  When I hear about the loss of a teen, it hits me hard.

It’s always easy to think that it won’t be you.  Don’t test fate.  Be safe, be smart , live!

Here’s a grizzly YouTube video but it sure does get the point across! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmMNcOWhjWM

If you live in Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Georgia, Minnesota, Iowa, Kansas, Missouri, Nebraska, Colorado, South Dakota, North Dakota, Utah, Idaho, Nevada, Arizona, Oregon, and Washington then this is a contest for you.  No purchase necessary.  It is sponsored through American Family Insurance.  I happen to know the person who designed the website, so that is how I found out about the contest.  He posted it to his Facebook account.  I am not, nor is anyone in my family insured with American Family so this is not an endorsement for their insurance.  I like the concept of promoting safe driving among teenagers.  So, consider taking the pledge!

http://www.teensafedriverpledge.com/default.asp?guid=

Mean or Snarky/Hero or Prodigy:

What Your Writing Says About You

By Guest Blogger/Writer, Teresa Frohock

http://frohock.wordpress.com/

What does your writing style say about you?

With all of our online communities and blogs, a lot of YA and teens are writing. I’ve been absolutely thrilled to see the number of YA and teens writing novels and short stories lately. I’m also greatly impressed by the ethical issues they are approaching in their writing.

I think about ethical issues and my writing quite a bit. For example, the protagonists in my novels don’t start out as a hero/heroine. By the end of the novel, my protagonist usually works through a great many difficulties, both spiritual and physical, and these challenges give the hero/heroine multiple opportunities to display heroic qualities.

This, however, is certainly my personal point of view.  In my stories heroes are not born. Prodigies are born, but being born with an exceptional skill does not necessarily transmute into heroism.

Heroism is an inner quality an individual obtains from applying their own moral codes and spiritual beliefs to life circumstances. Most often these circumstances call for a person to draw from inner strengths and principles inherent to their nature. Heroes make their decisions based on ethical and spiritual philosophies they have learned and employed in their lives by practicing those principles on a daily basis. So when the moment of crisis comes, a hero acts instinctively from the core of their being, not from external motives.

While by no means a prodigy, I was born with the skill to write and imagine worlds not my own, and I love to tell stories. Taking that special skill and utilizing it properly is an example of how I actively incorporate the skill of writing into my life.

I have the choice to moderate my words when writing or I can use my skill to be snarky and mean to other people. This is where I use the principles I have chosen to live by so I can decide whether to be a heroine or not. I’m certainly not successful all the time, but I do try to moderate my words so my intent will not be misinterpreted. Over the years, I’ve developed my unique writing style the same way young writers today are working on crafting their styles.

So what does your personal writing style say about you? Are you snarky and is this okay? Or do you try to think about other peoples’ feelings before you write something either online or in a story?

A note from Liza Wiemer:  Many thanks to Teresa Frohock for this great article.  

I have been fortunate to work with many YA/teens in a school newspaper setting.  Here are a few of my personal tips for excellent writing.

1. Be FEARLESS – If you are interested in interviewing someone famous, have confidence.  Many of my students over the years have interviewed famous or high-profile individuals including: United States senators, The Milwaukee Bucks owner, a Milwaukee Bucks player, Milwaukee’s mayor, Wisconsin’s governor, Ace of Cakes top chef Duff, Broadway singer, Dudu Fisher to name just a few.  Be polite, write a clear request, be flexible, don’t take too much of the individual’s time, and be persistent but not a pest.

2.  Write about WHAT INTERESTS YOU or what you know.  This is always a great place to start!  If you’re interested in basketball then, of course, this is something you may want to pursue in your writing.

3.  WRITE FIRST, EDIT SECOND.  I am not aware of any school that doesn’t teach writing skills.  The key to success, in my opinion, is getting down everything you want to say first and then worrying about spelling, grammar, editing…  Editing often takes longer than writing.  Don’t neglect this important step.  When you write and edit at the same time the process slows down and so can creativity.   

4.  As Teresa said, your WRITING SAYS A LOT ABOUT who YOU are – be careful on your language, attitude, message.  With the Internet it stays around FOREVER!  Make sure that you reflect on what you write before you post it.  Shine the best light possible.  Even IMs can be cut, pasted, and posted by others.  We all have heard – think before we speak – think before you post!

5.  Have OTHERS READ what you wrote to check for grammar, spelling, structure, message.  READ YOUR WORK OUT LOUD.  How does it sound to you?  Does it flow?  Language matters.

6.  SEEK MENTORS, ask someone you trust for guidance.  WRITING IS PERSONAL, so choose someone whom you can trust to be honest because they want to see you succeed, not fail.  There are people out there who will be critical because they feel in competition with you and therefore may not be well suited in providing constructive criticism.  Find other writers who truly know what they’re talking about and want to see you succeed.  

7.  BEST TIPS:  In non-fiction writing avoid was, were, has been, -ly words, very – see if you can condense your sentences.  In fiction writing – show, don’t tell!  When asked to write about an experience relating to you, especially for college essays – show, don’t tell.   

In addition, please take a look at the comments connected to this post.  There are some excellent suggestions and I deeply appreciate these contributions from other authors because they are helpful for YA/teens.  Authors, please keep them coming!

I was working with some students at school on an article about The Magic Tree House Series.  Obviously these books are for much younger readers, but the interview with the author, Mary Pope Osbourne, was incredible and definitely helpful for any age writer!  I found it inspiring.  Here is the link: http://tiny.cc/mE9Bv

Harmless Pranks or Foul Play?

Six POM cases of toilet paper covered this property. Photo by Liza Wiemer

Six empty cases of toilet paper flipped upside down garnished roadside posts.  The toilet paper formed a snowy cascade over home, trees, and bushes.  Homecoming!   Harmless prank?  A rite of passage or foul play?   Some say no big deal – the toilet paper dissolves eventually.  Others claim it’s a mess, disrespectful – money down the toilet, and the culprits should be held accountable and clean it up.

 A friend shared the following story of something his stepson did.  “When he was in high school, my stepson was caught after he and some friends egged a house on Halloween. I took him to the house with a bucket of water, soap, and ladder to remove the eggs and clean the windows. He also took a damaged windowscreen to the hardware store to have it repaired, and paid for it with his own money.  The rest of the kids never made restitution.  He never egged again.  Maybe he saw it was unkind–or just too much work!” 

So what’s fun, and what’s foul?  I believe the line is drawn when damage is done.  Who defines when there’s damage?  That’s definitely tricky business.

dam·age (n)

1. physical harm or injury that makes something less useful, valuable, or able to function 2. a harmful effect on somebody or something 3. the cost or price of something (informal)

(v)    1. vt to cause damage to something or somebody 2. vi to suffer damage

Encarta® World English Dictionary © 1999 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved. Developed for Microsoft by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc.

Here are a few clever pranks I heard over the weekend, but even these had consequences:

The entire class of junior girls from two private high schools switched schools for a day.  It took a lot of work and coordination, but they pulled it off.  The organizers received suspensions.

Seniors at a public high school let three pigs into their high school.  Each had a number painted on it – 1, 2, and 4.  Everyone was looking for pig #3.

Kids set alarm clocks to go off at various intervals during a class period.  The teacher laughed, but it was one period on one day.  The prank would have lost its humor if it had been repeated.  It also wouldn’t have been funny if others had been done to the same teacher.

Here are a few not so clever and definitely destructive pranks.  (Don’t ever try these.)

Pouring bleach on grass to write:  Class of 2010!  Caused property damage, harmed the environment, destroyed the grass.

A bunch of boys peed in a glass jar and placed it in rafters.  After a few hours in the sweltering heat it stunk.  When an a

dult searched for the smell, he knocked the jar over, broke it, and everything the urine touched – carpeting, woodwork, grout – had to be replaced, because the smell wouldn’t come out.

 On April Fools Day kids dumped out garbage cans over desks, chairs, and floors.  The instigators had a major clean up and plenty of germs to wipe away.  And the smell!!

There are plenty of pranks that fall in between – TPing homes might be one. 

*A note from Liza Wiemer – This post does not in any way advocate this behavior – please be responsible.

What do I think?  It’s best to think before one acts.  Rarely are pranks spontaneous.  And they’re almost never harmless.  One should be held accountable for his or her actions.  Do not do onto others what you would not want done to you.  Do they still teach the GOLDEN RULE in kindergarten???

Please share your prank story – harmful, harmless, helpful (please see comment below), or somewhere in between.

THANK YOU, KANYE WEST

Thank you so much, Kanye West.   We can learn a lot from you.  You’ve been vilified, humiliated, and humbled in the media for interrupting Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech at the 2009 MTV Video Awards!  Even President Barak Obama called you a jackass.  OUCH!  But I would like to express my deepest gratitude for teaching us a valuable lesson.  I mean it, sincerely.  And I hope that in the end, great things come from your painful experience.  

Boundaries!

Boundaries!

Boundaries!

We have two eyes to see, two ears to hear, two hands to clap, two feet to walk – but one mouth with two lips to close it shut.  What defines us most profoundly to others?  It isn’t what we see or hear or touch or even where we walk, but what we have the most control over – WHAT WE SAY. 

Most of us, baring a medical disorder, have complete control over what comes out of our mouths, what we post on Twitter or Facebook or MySpace.  Those things define us in ways we may never know.  What happened at the MTV Video Awards can make a profound difference and can be an opportunity for growth.  We all say hurtful things, perhaps not publicly or so blatantly.  Does it matter?  A hurt is a hurt. 

Think about it.  How do you want to be defined, identified, perceived?  Say something kind, and it will come back to you.  (Take a challenge – sincerely compliment others and see what happens.)  Say something mean, and it can have an impact too.   Words can leave scars; we just might not see them.

I don’t know anyone who hasn’t been hurt by gossip, true or false.  And it seems to be an epidemic in middle schools and high schools.  Everyone’s in each other’s business: who is having sex with who (or not), who cheated, who said this or that.  It’s a nightmare!

Stop.  Think about what you’re saying, who you’re saying it to, and most important WHY?  Say to others what you would want said about you.

 So thank you, Kanye West, for reminding all of us that what we say is extremely important to how others perceive us, how we perceive others, and how we perceive ourselves.  Lesson learned.

Oh, and P.S., Beyonce you’re one incredible class act!

2009 MTV Video Music Awards:  http://tiny.cc/0zZcr