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Tip – Cope with Stress NOW
Jul 30th, 2009 by Liza Wiemer

stress2Quick Tip:  Relieve your stress NOW

    Yesterday, I walked into my favorite coffee shop.  One of the baristas was on the brink of tears.  She wasn’t feeling well and was under tremendous stress.   Unfortunately, every co-worker she contacted was unable to fill in for her and her shift had just started.  I wanted to jump behind the counter to help, but anyone who’s tasted my coffee…  The place was noisy and there was a steady stream of customers.  Here’s the tip I gave her for immediate relief – and it works!

GETTING A GRIP:

When you find yourself in a stressful situation, unable to cope…

VISUALIZE:   Imagine your most favorite place in the world; picture it in your mind.  Is it a beach?  A forest?  A country road?  Imagine the sounds, smells, colors, texture.   (30 seconds or less.)

BREATHE:  Take a few deep breaths.  (If short on time, stop here.)

END GOAL:  Now that you feel better, don’t allow the stress to overwhelm you again.  Set a short-term end-goal. 

Example 1:  I will do well on this test.  And then go about taking steps to make it happen.  (Study – but be specific, call a friend for notes, research, review textbook, review notes, highlight, look at key learning material, find a quiet spot, turn off my cell phone, stop looking at Facebook or Twitter 🙂  )

Example 2:  I will not give my co-worker the power to upset me.  I will take the steps necessary to turn this day around.  (Change my attitude – I will not focus on or obsess over the negative, stay busy, be polite – but don’t listen to the person’s negative talk, do my best work ever, be kind to customers, smile at others, see myself walking out the door happy, smiling. )  After you made it through the day, perhaps your next goal is to find a new job???   Or an attitude change??  Remember:  How you relate to others is often how others relate to you.

Would love to hear from you.  Give this a try and let me know how it worked for you. 

The Courage to Change
Jul 28th, 2009 by Liza Wiemer

THE COURAGE TO CHANGE

By C.K., ‘08 High School Graduate

There was a time when three hundred and sixty-five days felt infinite. I eagerly anticipated every birthday and every chance to add a year on to the ones I’d already had. Those days, my sights were set so ahead of the times that I hardly realized what the times were doing to me.

Since hitting eighteen, the clock’s gone and sprouted wings. No longer thanclock-wings yesterday I was trying to figure out what college was for me, and here I am with another year in tow, still trying to get it right. Though it is difficult to conceive the distance between now and then, it is almost more difficult to conceive the amount of growth that distance has imposed.

I’ve been chasing dreams my whole life, and finally I thought I’d found the best route to get me to the place where I knew I belonged. I wasn’t counting on being wrong, but sure enough found that I was. San Francisco and fashion journalism, two long-time dreams, were finally in my pocket. I tried and tried to adjust, but time after time found that they just didn’t fit. It has been one of the most difficult things to face in my life, realizing that certainty in my gut could be so off. A step in the “wrong” direction was enough to call it quits on all that dreaming.  But kicking dreams is a harder process than anything I’ve seen on Intervention. The dreams stayed in the picture.

All this understanding is no more than a month old, and even since then, I feel like I’ve grown. There is no wrong direction because there is no map to life. All that uncertainty during the in-between time forced me to re-examine all that had once been certain. Some things still stand, while others buckled beneath all the questioning. I know now that without all that reflection, my sights would still be set too far ahead to appreciate what I could see before me.

What I see now is a chance to push myself in a way that, a year ago, I didn’t know I wanted to be pushed.  I cannot move away from art or writing. I suppose I can’t be certain about everything anymore, but there are some things that just won’t budge. Art and writing are what I have always known, and I will continue to expand my knowledge in these areas. They work together in allowing creativity’s free-flow to find form. There are messages and meaning in both.

As for my vision, my eyes have not yet adjusted for it to be crystal enough to put down on paper. That is not to say that I am without vision, because that is the one thing I am certain I do have, and have always had. I believe that my work has purpose, but I also believe that I’m still in the process of figuring out what exactly that is.

Save Money on College Textbooks
Jul 23rd, 2009 by Liza Wiemer

Textbooks This website can help you save money on textbooks!  www.half.ebay.com

College Students, Are You Thinking About Renting An Apartment? Good things to know…
Jul 22nd, 2009 by Liza Wiemer

Tired of dorm living?  Take the plunge and rent an apartment or duplex.  Duplex

Ask the following questions:

1.  How much is the rent?  2.  Do you allow pets? (if you have one) Note:  If the landlord allows pets, expect that your security deposit will be at least 1.5 to 2 times the amount of your monthly payment! 3.  When is rent due?  4.  Do I need a co-signer?  (usually a parent)  5.  What is the parking situation?  Or is there a bus/transportation line? 6.  Is there laundry available? 7.  How much is the security deposit? 8.  What utilities are included? 9. Is there Internet/cable TV hook-up? 10.  Is the lease a month-to-month, or a year lease?  11.  Do I have to give notice before we vacate the premises in WRITING?  How much time is needed?  12.  May I sublease the apartment to someone if I need to leave?  13.  What charges will I incur if my rent is late?  14.  Who do I call in case of an emergency or problem with the apartment?

Always: 1) Pay your rent on time.  2)  If you have any issues, including financial difficulties and may not be able to pay the rent on the due date – contact your landlord.  3)  Pay your utilities on time.  4)  Purchase renters’ insurance – it covers loss and/or damage and is relatively inexpensive.  5) Be respectful to other tenants in the building – loud music/parties at all hours of the night are not okay.  6)  Keep shared space clean and clutter free.  7)   Keep doors locked.  8) Be careful who has copies of your keys.  9)  Be thorough and honest on your application – if you’re not truthful, the landlord will find out!  Better to be up front if you were late on payments in the past and if you have civil or criminal records etc.  10) If your landlord calls you, return his/her call promptly.  11)  Choose your roommates carefully.  Will s/he pay on time?  Remember – their (rental) history can affect your history!

Your credit history WILL BE CHECKED

Public Records, including civil and criminal cases WILL BE CHECKED

Something to Think About
Jul 17th, 2009 by Liza Wiemer

Something to think about:

“Time is given meaning when it is used to help others become better human beings.” Liza Wiemer

5 Barriers that Affect Your Life
Jul 17th, 2009 by Liza Wiemer

Five Barriers that Affect Your Life:

Ask yourself the questions listed below.  Which ones most describe you?

Which ones explain how your friend(s) react(s) to situations?

Use this information to help you make positive changes in your life.   With this insight, understand your friend(s) better and treat him/her/them in a loving, positive way too!

The Barriers:

Fear
Lack of Trust
Low Self-Esteem or Feeling Unworthy
Lack of Faith
Self-centeredness (Egocentric)

We all have aspects of these barriers at some point in our lives. They become a problem when we develop a pattern in our actions and behavior. Most of the time, our patterns are the result of some experience, which hurt deeply.

Are you breathing? Good.
Keep it up.

Sometimes we get stuck, sometimes life isn’t what we hoped it would be.
Sometimes our emotions, circumstances, relationships are overwhelming. Sometimes we have no idea why.
This might help:

Fear:
1. Are you afraid of change?
2. Is it easier to stay stuck in something you hate, then take a chance on something new?
3. Do you look at the negative possibilities first, and don’t think about the positive ones?
4. Do you worry about the “what ifs?”
5. Do you prefer others to make decisions?

Lack of Trust:
1. Did someone hurt you – wound you so deep – that it effects your relationships with others?
2. Did you hurt someone – wound them so deep – that you struggle in relationships?
3. Do you lie?
4. Did someone lie to you and hurt you to the core?
5. Did someone betray your trust?
6. After you complete an assignment, do you worry if you did it correctly?
7. Is it hard for you to trust your decisions – do you second guess yourself?
8. Would you rather do something yourself, then trust someone to do the work?

Low Self-Esteem or Feeling Unworthy:
1. Does constructive criticism hurt your feelings?
2. Do you seek approval and/or recognition from others?
3. When someone doesn’t return a phone call, text message, e-mail, do you wonder if it’s because you said or did something wrong?
4. Is it difficult for you to accept a compliment?
5. Are you overly sensitive to others behavior toward you, even if it’s his or her problem – not yours?
6. Do you compare yourself to others, and conclude that others are better than you? Why try to succeed, right? Or, you have to succeed, or you’ll be incredibly unhappy with yourself.
7. You find the negatives, even when you are successful, because you’re just not good enough! Can’t enjoy the success, right? even when you have it!
8. Do you gossip to feel better about yourself?
9. Did someone put you down, and you believe it?

Lack of Faith:
1. Do you need to have control over every situation because you believe that things won’t go okay or get done, without you doing them yourself?
2. Do you need to control your environment?
3. Is it hard for you to believe something is possible, without concrete proof?
4. Do you dismiss “small miracles” and chock it up to a no big deal “coincidence?”
5. No one is out there who can help you. Better to do it yourself.
6. Do you hate it when others try to help you? Or find it difficult to accept help from others?
7. Do you need to control others?

Self-centeredness (Egocentric)
1. Do you need to be better than everyone else?
2. Do you hate to lose at anything?
3. Do you cut other people down to feel important or challenge them on ideas to show your point-of-view is better?
4. Do you compare what you have – clothing, car, money – or the way you look to others? Do you feel bad if someone else has more or feel good, if you do?
5. Does constructive criticism make you feel irritated?
6. Do you need to give your opinion on pretty much everything, even when you really have no idea what you’re talking about?
7. Do you butt into other people’s conversations when you are clearly not welcomed?
8. When you give, do you expect something in return?

SEX!
Jul 17th, 2009 by Liza Wiemer

SEX!  It’s just sex, right?  The message is everywhere.  Have sex for pleasure – no commitment, no emotion, just sex.  But it’s not, and that’s the point.  Can you stand naked and vulnerable – literally and figuratively and expect that it’s not going to mean anything?  So, virgin or not, ask yourself – am I really ready to be completely exposed, vulnerable, and detached at the same time?  Impossible, I say.  Sex has an (ex) in it – but making love – well that’s the real deal.  Now that’s worth the wait (weight) in gold.

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