TEENS/YA BINGE DRINKING, HOOK UPS, AND SELF-ESTEEM

Okay, I’ve been thinking about this for quite awhile and decided I just had to blog about it!

Who or What is Driving You?

Lately I’ve been hearing more than the usual from teens and YA about the binge drinking that has been taking place on campuses and at high school parties.

Here’s what several eighteen-year-olds have told me.

Some of you love to drink.  You love the feeling of getting buzzed; you love having the pressures taken off of you by drinking, and though you end up spending the night throwing up in a toilet, it is still worth it.  It’s worth it, even if you sleep it off the next day, all day.  You’ve told me it is a right of passage and a personal entertainment choice, something to do with friends.  I can’t say this makes me happy.  I wish you would find other, more healthy ways to entertain yourself.  On a side note – I just learned in my CPR class (January 26, 2010) that those who are vomiting after binge drinking should be watched carefully.  There is a higher chance of choking on vomit under these circumstances, and if you are alone, you may not get the care you need!

From several teens and young adults (ages ranging from fifteen to twenty) you shared the following situations with me:

You drink so much that you don’t remember what happened to you.  Your friends (who can still stand) take care of you, bring you to the bathroom, clean you up, and make sure you get food in you.  Some of you are hooking up, and you don’t even remember them.  You drink so that you can hook-up, because without the alcohol you would never do it.  Unfortunately, the morning after leaves you feeling empty and lost.

I’ve been privileged to talk with you about it and it’s clear your self-esteem is so low, that it breaks my heart.

It breaks my heart because I think you’re amazing.  I think you’re beautiful – inside and out.  I think that you are incredibly bright, gifted, and have so much to offer this world, but are making bad choices – especially when it comes to drinking.

A few of you have been raped.  A few of you lost your virginity in ways that you have said were totally degrading.  (In the bathroom at school – not cool.  Or, at a party with others watching.)

The lipstick rings placed on the guy’s penis while others watched and cheered?  You barfed in the toilet shortly afterward…  That brought tears to my eyes…  You felt totally degraded, but pressured into doing it.

You got so drunk that you couldn’t move out of the snow bank.  Thankfully, a friend found you before you froze to death.

A few of you have gotten into a car with a drunk driver – and you lived.  I am so glad that you are alive, because you have so much living to do.  If you hadn’t been drunk yourself, you never would have done something so stupid.

I wish I were making this stuff up.   I wish that I could magically make it all disappear, but I can’t.

Here’s what I can tell you.  It’s time to put this behind you.  It’s time to stop, and it’s time for you to know that you have control of the choices you make, and you don’t have to repeat them.

You tell me that you have a reputation now – one you can’t live down – so you just continue with the same behavior, because that is what is expected of you.  But I have to tell you that I know you’re better than that, much, much, much better.  I’m not saying that it is going to be easy.  It’s lousy and unfair.  But it also is life.

The only way to change is if you make a choice to take action by not participating, by saying no.  Respect yourself because you deserve it!

If you need someone to listen or if you have questions, please e-mail me.  I will, G-d willing, be here to cheer you on!  Because no matter what, I believe that you are truly amazing.  whoRuBlog@aol.com

A note from Liza:

Right before I was about to post this blog piece I saw the following article from my aol home page:

TEEN BINGE DRINKING MAY CAUSE BRAIN DAMAGE – Sphere News

http://tinyurl.com/ygv39cp

To learn more about self-esteem issues, please click on the following link: http://www.whorublog.com/?page_id=79 or if you would like to learn more about the five barriers that can influence your life, please click on the following link:  http://www.whorublog.com/?p=12

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Lookin Like a Fool with Your Pants on the Ground

Youtube Video of American Idol\’s General Larry Pratt – Pants on the Ground

General Larry Platt, 62, hit American Idol by storm last night and made viewers smile with his original song, Pants on the Ground. There’s no doubt he has an opinion about what some teens and young adults wear, and he sure doesn’t like it!  But what made his “message” effective was that this wasn’t some shlup doling out fashion advice – The General has the moves.  Did you see him breakdancing?  Amazing!

So, here’s the question.  If your pants are on the ground, are you really looking like a fool?  Like many trends, those who dress with their pants on the ground will most likely say in ten years, “What the heck was I thinking!”  Does is it matter?  Shouldn’t what you wear be a personal choice?  Or should there be guidelines for what teens can and cannot wear?

Nicolet High School in Glendale, WI instituted a dress code for the 2009-2010 school year, which forbids students from wearing their pants on the ground (sagging pants).  The administration and school board said that students who wore these pants are constantly hoisting them up.  (One student told me that kids who wear these pants sometimes grab the fabric by their crotch to pull up them up, and some see it as a sexual message.)  The school also placed a ban on midriff tops, showing cleavage, pjs, and halter-tops, to name just a few.  Many saw these types of clothes as giving off a clear S-E-X-U-A-L message.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebhlRhRi290 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXA-qu4zYK8

The bottom line is respect. Our bodies are beautiful.  We should respect them and appreciate them, not as objects, but as vehicles to make this world a better place.  Huh?  What was that?

Let me explain.  If you see yourself strictly as a body, then what you do has little meaning.  If, however, you see yourself as an individual who has a soul, who has a mind, who has a heart, then the body is no longer an object to be used, but a vehicle to accomplish dreams, use talents, and make a difference to improve this world.  The heart, mind, and soul need a body to accomplish dreams.  The body puts everything into action.  When you look at yourself as more than a body, then you can understand how what you wear can truly say a lot about who and what you are.  Everyone needs to decide for him or herself what that message is.  Make sure it’s one you feel really good about and reflects your true beauty – the inner-self that should shine forward at all times.

I’d love to know what you think about this too!

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