Lack of Faith
July 28th, 2009 by Liza Wiemer

Helpful Tip:

Sometimes FAITH is a matter of recognizing you don’t have control.  Sometimes you need someone else to be in charge, or hold the burden.  We can’t always do things on our own.

1. Do you need to have control over every situation because you believe that things won’t go okay or get done, without you doing them yourself?
2. Do you need to control your environment?
3. Is it hard for you to believe something is possible, without concrete proof?
4. Do you dismiss “small miracles” and chock it up to a no big deal “coincidence?”
5. No one is out there who can help you. Better to do it yourself.
6. Do you hate it when others try to help you? Or find it difficult to accept help from others?
7. Do you need to control others?

If you answered yes to most of the lack of faith questions, please read the following:

1  Okay, so we’re going to look at the toughest issue first.  So, don’t stop reading after this one, please.  It’s just something to think about and there are some important points to follow.  Here we go – A Higher Power – belief in one doesn’t come easy or naturally, especially for the pragmatic.  It’s hard to carry the burdens in life just on your shoulders.  What is it, specifically, that destroyed your faith that a Higher Power exists?  Were you let down?  Hurt?  Are you suffering now?  All of these reasons (and any others) are valid.  But underneath these questions – one must seek answers.  Faith is not something to be resolved without seeking answers from those who might be able to give them.  Knowledge is always your best offense. Yes, my next suggestion is going to make you feel uncomfortable – but I assure you, it will help you make an intelligent decision.   Find an expert in your birth religion and study with that person.  It could be a priest, minister, a rabbi.  If you are still not satisfied, seek others.  Don’t rest until you have an answer.  Faith or the lack of, has a profound impact on our lives.  It deserves proper nurturing.

2.  Lack of faith in others can be tremendously burdensome and painful.  People are going to disappoint, but there are many who are loving and supportive.  When you constantly are unable to allow others to help you, you aren’t breathing at all.  You’re not giving (breathing out), you’re not receiving (breathing in). You’re holding your breath because you’re so focused on what you need, how it needs to be done, and when it needs to be done that the whole process of life is stifled. Stop holding your breath. Of course it is risky to rely on others, especially if you’ve been deeply disappointed.  There are always going to be people who are unreliable.  Think about whether or not this relationship is at the detriment of your health.  If so, it may very well be time to move on, or reexamine or redefine the relationship.

Examples Situations:

1.  Every time you have asked for help from a “Joey,” he promises to help, but last minute has a million excuses.  Many seem valid, but you can’t count on him for anything.  You ask yourself why you keep coming back to him when you know he’ll disappoint you.  You do it anyway.

Solution:  First, realize that “Joey” represents a belief system – no one is going to help me, so I have to do it myself.  So, by contacting him to “help” you are reinforcing your belief system that no one will be there for you – therefore a lack of faith in others.  STOP.  The solution is to find someone you can trust, and ask for help with something.  But with anything in life, if you don’t understand why you seek to reinforce a negative belief system, you will continue on the same path.  Understanding where it came from will help you to move forward.

2.  When a loved one is either very ill or dies, faith is often deeply shaken.  There is nothing fair about a loved one (or even yourself) having to deal with illness.  But anger, frustration, and a thousand other emotions (they’re only unhealthy when you hold on to them) can harm you and shape the joys in life, if you prevent yourself from examining the issue of faith.

Solution:  Talk to others who have or are going through something similar.  Not just those who will support your lack of faith issues, but people who have worked through them and find out how they did it, why they’re in the “space” they’re in, and what their best guidance would be for you.  Don’t rest until you have a peace.   Communication is a key, but sometimes with whom you choose to communicate – is an even greater key.  Seek answers from those who have found solutions!

If you have an example of a lack of faith situation with a solution, please share it with me.  I will consider posting it and you may remain anonymous.

If you need some help, feel free to e-mail me and I will do my best to assist you.

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